Is the return of the monocle a sign that the Old Etonian Tories are taking control or the preparations for a Labour anti-Toff campaign?

Tory fashion accessory or a cunning plan from Labour Agents across Britain - The Monocle!

Vision Express has announced that it is to start stocking monocles for the first time following a spate of young male customers requesting to buy them.

This apparently came as quite a shock to the major high street retailer who has never sold them before.

I couldn’t help but think that the boys from the Bullingdon Club and the Old Etonians (the Conservative front bench) might all be dashing out to buy them as part of the season’s must have fashion accessory.

But, then it occurred to me that with the increasingly anti-upper class tone of Gordon Brown at Prime Minister’s Question Time and of Labour campaigning it was probably a raft of Labour agents dashing around to buy a monocle for anti-Tory photos for their election literature to show a division between them and their quadruple barrelled opponents.

Only time will tell!

Why does David Cameron always look constipated? Is it because he is ‘weak and marginal’?

David Cameron
Why does David Cameron always look so constipated?

Eton, Oxford and the Bullingdon Club may have taught Mr Cameron a certain type of debating style, but it’s one that makes my skin crawl.

Whatever you say about Gordon Brown, even if you oppose his politics completely, he does actually work very hard, if at times ineffectually, for the country. I quite like Gordon really, and I can’t say the same for, the apparently permanently constipated looking, Mr Camero

So why is Mr Cameron taking on this apparently disapproving air.

I think his attacks on the Labour leader are calculated, like so many policies of the Tories at the moment. He, and his front bench, are of a type that thinks jeering and bullying are normal forms of dialogue that are expected of parliamentarians. Only their sort of parliamentarian still believes this.

Mr Cameron’s attempts to move his party to be more inclusive and open to the 21st Century are completely undermined by this hooray-henry attitude. He has, this week, been described as ‘weak and marginal’ with his little gang of Euro-thugs that make up his new grouping in the European Parliament, by the chairman of the EPP.

The EPP is made up of all the mainstream members of the European right and Mr Cameron’s party would once have placed itself squarely with this group. Mr Cameron is not a Conservative, in the way people remember the Tory party of Churchill, Macmillan, Heath and even Thatcher. It is  more extreme and anathema to British politics.

It may seem like a jolly wheeze to form their own group in the European Parliament but his playing fields of Eton antics make his party look increasingly politically constipated and objectionable.

What should one call a mafia that was born on the playing fields of Eton?

Boris Johnson received a mafia style threat from a top Tory advisor - but what should we call this new Tory mafia?

Boris Johnson received a mafia style threat from a top Tory advisor - but what should we call this new Tory mafia?

Eton College is not the place one would expect to discover a training ground for a new ‘mafia’ in British politics. But, according to yesterday’s Times, this is exactly what we should be looking for.

Apparently, after Mayor Boris Johnson, dropped his stylish anti-European bombshell in Manchester, he received a text message from top Cameron aide, Nick Boles, with the following message:

The message was, “La vendetta è un piatto che va mangiato freddo”, which for those who don’t have predictive texting, in Italian, on their phone means, Revenge is a dish best eaten cold,”  but why did he send it?

Apparently the Tory leadership was not too happy at Boris stealing the limelight and then using it to promote a new direction on Tory attitudes towards Europe, or more accurately let the cat out of the bag.

I began to wonder how the Eton wall boys might carry through this threat, and then it struck me, they could leave the head of the fox they want to hunt in the bottom of Boris’ bed.

The name of the mafia – the British establishment!